From Red Flags to Belonging: rethinking ‘Come as you are’

Have you ever heard ‘Come as you are!’ and thought, “That’s easy for them to say”? You’re not alone. For many, particularly queer and neurodivergent individuals, these words can feel like an empty promise—or worse, a source of hurt. So then why do I put Come as you are as a core value for our retreats?

The empty promises of “inclusivity”

A recent experience of mine comes to mind. At a “diverse, queer-friendly” Shibari workshop I attended, nearly all the male participants rushed to find female rope partners. I remained partnerless, and that brought back memories of school days when gym teachers had to assign me to a team because no classmate ever picked me. It was a stark reminder of how “inclusive” spaces sometimes fail to address deeper biases or social dynamics, leaving people like me on the outside looking in.

When “come as you are” feels like a red flag

When we come as we are, there is a fair chance of being confronted with judgement, jokes, or prejudice because people aren’t ready for our quirks and peculiarities. Worse still, some expect us to educate—or is it entertain?—them by explaining how we function. The call to “come as you are” can sometimes feel more like a red flag than a green light. (I even spotted it as a wall decoration in a McDonald’s the other day!)

Creating a space for genuine belonging

Wouldn’t it be great to find a space where the call to “come as you are” itself is authentic? Let’s be clear: Crazy Camps are a beautifully mixed environment. Our groups include people of different cultures, genders, neurotypes, and orientations. That diversity is our strength, but it also means Crazy Camps are not automatically the space where you feel entirely empowered or free. Therefore, we actively build an environment where you might find yourself gradually letting the mask slip—not because you’re told to, but because you feel empowered.

How Crazy Camps facilitate openness and acceptance

One key element of this is the intention to refrain from judging others—and from judging yourself.

• If stimming is important to or for you: stim! And if it’s challenging for you to witness someone stimming: let them, and focus on something else.
• If meditation is hard for you, we offer alternative methods. No need to sit cross-legged in silence if that’s not your thing.
• If group dynamics feel overwhelming, take a break whenever you need. No questions asked.
• If expressing boundaries is new to you, we celebrate every hesitant “no” or “not now.”

These are just a few examples of how we strive to nurture a sense of genuine belonging. I’m always learning and adapting to support the unique needs of our community.

A healing space for queer and neurodivergent individuals

One of the most touching testimonials I’ve received came from a fellow queer ND participant. They said, “My week at the Crazy Camp was the first time in my life that no one ever asked me to tone down. In my regular life, I receive that request almost daily.” To be transparent, that testimonial broke my heart. It’s a painful reminder of the world we live in. But it also filled me with gratitude that Crazy Camps can offer this kind of healing space.

An invitation to join a community where you can just be

Does this resonate with you? Have you ever felt let down by promises of authenticity? Are you craving a community where the need to mask or fit in simply fades away? Then, with all my heart, I invite you to join an upcoming Crazy Camp. Check out the upcoming events listed below, and don’t hesitate to reach out with any questions or specific needs—I’m happy to support you.

Klaas

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